Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.

[ferretface_git]

The years had given Draco the chance to amass a rather respectable wardrobe. It had taken a great deal of time, a great deal of patience, but he had clothes which he could go out in and not feel crippled by embarrassment, which was more than he could say for a lot of the poor fools he saw around the island.

Still, once and a while he had to go back to that evil box, to replace something or other. That morning, he was sifting through stiff dress robes, hideous Hawaiian shirts, maroon and gold t-shirts and even worse, shirts with Harry Potter's face plastered across the front.

With a heavy sigh, he plucked out the one pair of plain, black boxer shorts he'd found, setting that aside. The first in his keep pile. This, he realized, might take quite a while.

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[useabezoar.livejournal.com]

Snape had been introduced to the clothes box shortly after arrival. It was a fact of life that he'd needed to become accustomed to. After all, he couldn't survive on washing the same clothes over and over again, and his traditional heavy black clothing wasn't particularly island-friendly, unless he wanted to die of heat stroke.

Having found himself nearly out of respectable clothing, but holding only a rudimentary understanding of these washing machine contraptions, he forced himself to go to wage battle with the box.

Someone else had beat him to it, however, though he found himself relieved to know that it was Draco and not anyone unsavory, like Sirius Black. That would just be intolerable.

Silently, he stood at the box, staring down at it for a good moment or two, before sighing heavily. "This doesn't get any easier then, does it?" he asked, starting down at the garish pile of clothing.

[of-badfaith.livejournal.com]

"Unfortunately, no," Draco sighed, "It seems to take unnatural joy in making us all miserable."

Or, perhaps not all. Luna seemed perfectly happy with what she found in its recesses. However, she did have a fondness for neon faux fur and tutus.

[useabezoar.livejournal.com]

Wearily, Snape sank down to sit next to the box. He picked up a bright floral patterned shirt, holding it at arm's length between finger and thumb, before casting it aside.

"How do people live like this?" he grumbled, reaching in to the box to dislodge the next item, which looked like a feather boa. "How is it that people haven't begun to revolt against things like this?"

The island was almost as close to the concept of Utopia as one could get, and Snape hated every last, cheerful inch of it.

[of-badfaith.livejournal.com]

"In the grand scheme of things, I suppose fashion isn't a high priority for most," Draco said, and though it pained him to admit, he'd largely given up hope of not looking like a fool at any given moment. That part of his dignity had left him years ago.

Eyeing the boa, it occurred to him how much Luna would love it, but he didn't dare reach for it.

[useabezoar.livejournal.com]

"There's fashion, and then there's not walking about looking like a lunatic," he said, tossing the boa off to the side. "I prefer not to look like a lunatic, all things considered."

He had enough other problems, being on this island for no reason, with people from his future. He didn't need to be forced to start dressing like he'd lost his mind.

[of-badfaith.livejournal.com]

"Eventually, you stop really giving a damn. It's shameful," he admitted, his hand closing over something black, then letting out a grunt of annoyance when he held it up and found that it was a pair of knickers.

[useabezoar.livejournal.com]

"I most certainly hope not," Snape said. He knew he would have to lessen his standards somewhat, but he swore he'd rather be dead than be caught wearing one of those floral patterned monstrosities that kept popping out of the box at him.

At the pair of knickers, Snape couldn't help but let out a snort, close to a laugh but not quite. "At least they're an appropriate colour," he remarked before turning his attention back to the box.

[of-badfaith.livejournal.com]

Clicking his tongue and tossing the scrap of lace back into the box, he sat back on his haunches, rubbing a hand across tired eyes.

"Go on, see if you have any luck with the blasted thing. I give up."

[useabezoar.livejournal.com]

Snape glowered at the box.

He'd successfully managed being a double agent during the darkest time of Voldemort's reign, hiding away his fear and just surviving. He wasn't about to allow himself to be cowed by a box of ugly clothing.

He inhaled sharply before plunging his hands in, sweeping up handfuls of garments to pull back out. Maybe he'd have better luck going for quantity; there had to be at least one useful item in there.

And there were: he'd come up with a handful of mostly reasonable garments, all blacks and browns and dark greens.

Except that they were all women's clothes.

"Damn," he said, dropping the pile of skirts and frilly blouses back off to the side.

[of-badfaith.livejournal.com]

Smothering a laugh, Draco shrugged and muttered a wry, "Better luck, next time."

Whatever respect Draco might have had for Professor Snape, that wouldn't stop him from laughing at the man's misfortunes, now.

[useabezoar.livejournal.com]

He glanced up at Draco and scowled. Undaunted by the box's cruelty, Snape merely glared at it. He wasn't going to let this stupid thing beat him. He was going to be successful and get at least one useful item out of it.

He hovered his hands overtop of the box, planning his route of attack, before reaching in once more, this time going for the deepest corner of the box.

This time?

A handful of shirts and hats and socks, all in red and gold, some with little lions embroidered on them. "Gryffindor," he muttered savagely under his breath before throwing the items down in disgust. "This is preposterous."

[of-badfaith.livejournal.com]

"My sympathies," he drawled, sounding less than sincere. It felt good, knowing he wasn't the only one to suffer at the hands of that cruel box.

Folding the few meager items he'd found, he pushed to his feet, deciding, "I believe I've had enough of its brand of humor, for today."

[useabezoar.livejournal.com]

Snape wanted to give up too; he really, truly did. But he also hadn't quite figured out how the washing machines worked yet. He was down to the last few pieces of clothes he'd managed to salvage from the box. Now, it was either find more clothes, or figure out the machines, and he wasn't too keen on dealing with this Muggle technology.

"I think I must keep searching," he said, sounding dejected as he stared at the box. He wondered if he would get in trouble for just setting the whole thing on fire. "At least one of us has had some luck."

[of-badfaith.livejournal.com]

"Let me know if you have any luck," he drawled, and while it might not have been readily apparent, there was a faint hint of amusement tinging his voice.

Already making his way up the steps, he called, "A pleasure, as always."